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Straight to Hell (1987, UK)

Straight to Hell (1987)

It’s fair to say that Straight to Hell isn’t widely considered to be one of director Alex Cox’s best films. Some people may even consider it to be his worst.

However, whilst its creation, cast, setting and gonzo punk style, make it an undeniable curiosity, it is its adaptation and reclamation of popular genre style, that may make Straight to Hell Cox’s most notably cine-literate film. For the uninitiated: Cox was the punk filmmaker who made it big early on, blew it nearly as quickly, and has steadfastly done his own thing ever since.

“A story of blood, money, guns, coffee, and sexual tension.”

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Saturn 3 (1980, UK / USA)

Saturn 3 (1980) Theatrical Poster

As you are no doubt aware, having found this particular website, in the late ’70s space was the shit. In the wake of Star Wars, numerous projects were green-lit, ranging from Ridley Scott’s franchise-launching Alien to the bottom-of-the-barrel Disney project The Black Hole. Saturn 3 was American-born, British TV supremo Lord Lew Grade’s attempt to cash in on the public’s new-found love of sci-fi. And, on the surface, its got a lot going for it.

“Trapped between unnatural love and inhuman desire.”

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Giving DTV Action Films a Better Rep

Nemesis (1992)

Back in the late 80s/early 90s I was not allowed to watch the many horror films that adorned the plastic shelving of my local video store. Some might say that is wise parenting, considering I was only 5 or 6 at the time. But strangely action films were deemed ok to view (such as substandard fare from Cannon Pictures and Guild Video).

“Look, there’s a lot of us working to make a bad world better. Remember that.”

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Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01 (1987, Japan)

Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01 (1987) Promotional Poster

Animated by Hideaki Anno, Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01’s plot centers on Koji, an engineering student who accidentally discovers the Madox-01; a heavy mechanised, armoured exoskeleton. This military weapon, successor to the Madox-00, is equipped with a large array of weaponry and was designed to fight against heavy armoured vehicles. Glancing through the conveniently included instruction manual, Koji climbs into the Madox-01 exoskeleton.

“I…I’m not ready yet!”

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Guyver: Dark Hero (1994, USA)

Guyver: Dark Hero (1994) VHS CoverOf all the bad films I have had the guilty pleasure (and at times displeasure) to watch, none have be as sentimentally close to me as Steve Wang’s live action take on the Japanese Manga; Guyver. A sequel to 1991’s The Guyver (itself a mediocre Americanized take on the source material), Guyver: Dark Hero was everything its predecessor should have been. Granted many might think this is just Power Rangers with blood and gore, but for its minuscule budget it contains impressive practical effects and brilliantly choreographed wirework.

“The Zoanoids weren’t the failed experiment. The Guyvers were. The aliens created the Guyvers to fight their wars for them. The humans rebeled. Out of control. The Guyver is nothing more than a weapon…”

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Endgame (1983, Italy)

Endgame (1983) Theatrical PosterLet’s get right to it; is this movie the final installment of The Bronx Warriors trilogy that includes 1990: The Bronx Warriors and Escape from the Bronx, or not? The short answer in my opinion is no, it most definitely is not. It bears no resemblance, nor any connection to the previous films that I could detect; though it is supposedly set in New York, I don’t recall any reference to it in the dialogue.

“For an ENDGAME champion in the year 2025, there’s only one way to live. Dangerously.”

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Dead 7 (2016, USA)

Dead 7 (2016) Promotional Poster“Larger than Life!”

Wow, if there ever was a less promising tagline for a zombie Twistern, I can’t recall it. Hopefully, whoever came up with it will work on expanding their creative writing skills. BTW, I know that’s a reference to a Backstreet Boys song, but still. How do I know? Well, I didn’t; I looked it up and I’m choosing to take the word of the Interwebz. It’s right 100% of the time, isn’t it?

“Everybody’s gotta die someday…”

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The Vineyard (1989, USA / Canada)

The Vineyard (1989) VHS PosterI can’t even begin to discuss 1989’s The Vineyard without first discussing the undisputed talent of James Hong. With a filmography that has spanned over six decades, it is Hong’s portrayal of the legendary sorcerer Lo Pan in John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China (1986) that has become the most iconic. Yet, those of us that have seen Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner (1982) will also remember Hong as Hannibal Chew, the genetic (eye) engineer hired by the Tyrell Corporation. That being said, James Hong is truly a force to be reckoned with…

“An island of death fueled by the blood of its victims.”

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Cube (1997, Canada)

Cube (1997) Theatrical PosterDirected and co-written by Vincenzo Natali, Cube is a Canadian science fiction horror released in 1997. Significant for being the Canadian Film Centre’s (CFC) first feature film, and Natali’s feature length directional debut, Cube has polarised audiences since release due in part to it’s ‘kafkaesque’ setting; a surreal, industrial cube-shaped design.

Cube is one of the greatest, and unfortunately most underrated horror movies from the 1990s.

“The only way out lies within your own mind.”

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America 3000 (1986, USA)

America 3000 (1986)

Let me just preface this article with the acknowledgement that I loved this movie way out of proportion to what it probably deserves. If you’ve seen it or do so in the near future, it’s a tossup as to whether or not you’ll feel the same way about it that I do. You might gag and roll around on the floor foaming at the mouth miming, “My eyes, my eyes!” But seriously, have you seen it yet?

Another movie that’s so good at being bad that it surpasses all expectations, America 3000 is the work of writer-director David Engelbach. You’ll join me if that name doesn’t ring a bell, as this movie was his single directorial credit.

“An outrageous post-nuke adventure!”

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Vicious Lips (1986, USA)

Never having seen Vicious Lips (also known as Pleasure Planet) when it was first released back in 1986, this is one of those cult movies that has been on my list for a very long time but I’ve never gotten around to seeing. Because it’s a little harder to get and they never seem to replay it on cable, I’d actually forgotten about it. So when it popped up on Comet, I DVR’d it like nobody’s business.

“Beneath a blood-red moon, the dream, electric. The planet, futuristic. The nightmare, animalistic.”

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