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Karate Kill (2016, Japan / USA) Review

Karate Kill (2016)

Japanese wannabe actress Mayumi is abducted by an absolute nut-job called Vendenski and his hysterically seedy cult – Capital Messiah. They’re feared throughout the criminal community for reasons that are beyond me, but nobody seems to be able to touch them, until Mayumi’s brother, Kenji, travels over in search of his missing sister. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Kenji is a Karate Master, wouldn’t you just know it? This now sets the wheels in motion for Kenji to stroll around L.A. all brooding and a fish out of water, but cracking skulls as he’s doing it.

“He is no Mr. Miyagi.”

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Killer Friends (2016, USA) Review

Killer Friends features a spectacularly god-awful human being and his best friends’ attempts to put him out of their misery. These attempts, being amateurish and unplanned, backfire in various slapstick ways and the viewer is invited both to sympathise with the frustrated would-be homicides and wonder when they’re going to get their cackhanded act together and put the little shit down. It becomes apparent, however, that their potential victim knows more than he is letting on… Even now, thinking about him, I can feel my blood pressure rising.

“I’m here to love and support my girlfriend… and kill Scott!”

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Other Halves (2015, USA) Review

Other Halves (2015)

The more our technology improves, the harder it is to make some classic horror tropes believable. The main culprit here is the cell phone. Everyone has one, and they are constantly in use. For those of us with smart phones, we are able to control almost every aspect of our lives through this little device. As our technology evolves, so must the horror genre evolve to incorporate its use. With smart phones giving us easy access to the internet and a seemingly unending number of apps to choose from, it’s no wonder that dating apps have become so popular.

“It’s a killer app.”

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Pazucus: Island of Vomit and Despair (2017, Brazil) Review

Charles Bukowski once said “Some people never go insane. What horrible lives they must lead!” Clearly this is not the way for the characters in Pazucus: Island of Vomit and Despair, as whilst they seem to act and look crazed and insane their lives are blighted by horrors all around them. Their insanity is reflected in Gurcius Gewdner’s film which is somewhat of a strange piece of underground genre cinema, art house horror, b-movie monster horror, and deliberately maddening genre flick that is deliberately frustrating and uneasy to pin point as to what it actually is about. The plot, if there is one to focus on, follows Carlos who is constantly vomiting…

“You won’t be coming home!”

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Don’t Let the Devil In (2016, USA) Review

Don't Let the Devil In (2016)

John Harris works for a property/land development firm in New York City. After his wife Samantha has a miscarriage, his life begins to change. This unfortunate event has traumatized her and John thinks that some time away from the city would do both of them a world of good. Writer/director Courtney Fathom Sell created a film that is less about shocks and horrific moments and more about building an imposing sense of fear. From the moment the Harris’ move into their new house, there is an air of unnerving trepidation.

“What kind of sick people would do something like this?”

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CRITTERS ATTACK! Invades Earth on Blu-ray, DVD & Digital Download 23 July from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment

CRITTERS ATTACK! Invades Earth on Blu-ray, DVD & Digital Download 23 July from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment

The feeding frenzy begins! Critters Attack!, the newest entry in the bloody, live-action, horror/sci-fi film series invades earth on 23 July, 2019, on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment. Fans can also watch the fur-ocious creatures’ television debut on SYFY, scheduled to air in October. Dee Wallace, who starred in the original Critters as Helen Brown, will sink her teeth into the franchise for a second time.

“In 1986, they invaded our world. Now they’re back and hungry for more… This time everyone is on the menu!”

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Atmo HorroX (2016, Canada) Review

Atmo HorroX (2016)

Does comparing Pat Tremblay’s Atmo HorroX to John Boorman’s classic Zardoz elevate one, diminish the other, or condemn both? Both films are psychedelic, trippy, and include protagonists that wander around in outlandish costumes that show rather more skin than most of us would like to see. Both are infused with timely messages, expressed through grotesquerie. Despite the dubious value of the venture, reams could be written deconstructing both films. If nothing else, we know that movies like Atmo HorroX are extremely rare…

“Engineering the strings of your mind puzzle.”

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Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel (2018, USA) Review

Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel (2018)

When I first watched Hell House LLC I’ll be totally honest, I wasn’t expecting much. Found footage movies have run their course, but I was genuinely impressed. It had some genuinely creepy moments. Two years later we are given its sequel, Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel. Now, because I was so surprised by the first installment I was really looking forward to this. Unfortunately after a mere ten minutes into the movie it was evident this wasn’t going to fulfill me with the same joy.

“This hotel has a long history of unexplained events being caught on camera…”

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Flay (2017, USA) Review

Flay (2017)

By now, everyone should be familiar with the Slenderman phenomenon. The internet is full of stories and videos claiming that it is a real creature or being. Slenderman’s background and motivations have never been satisfactorily explained and there are lots of stories that contradict one another. It is in this vein that Flay was created. Seeking to explain the origins of Slenderman and tying it into the genocide of the Native American people by European settlers, Flay gives us an origin for Slenderman that is brutal, sad and rather unsatisfying.

“Come out and flay with me.”

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The Spiderwebhouse (2015, Germany) Review

The Spiderwebhouse (2015)

Growing up isn’t easy and if I’m honest, I’m still having trouble coming to terms with it. But sometimes the decision to live as an eternal kidult is taken away from us, with youngsters shouldering the responsibility of primary caregiver. Such is the case for twelve year old Jonas, who finds the transition to enforced adulthood a struggle in Mara Eibl-Eibesfeldt’s bittersweet gothic fable The Spiderwebhouse. Gentle and ponderous The Spiderwebhouse is a charming portrayal, exploring the complexities of depression, and the harshness of a world as seen through a child’s eyes.

“Oh spider, oh spider, oh bring me to the place where I’m not.”

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Hell House LLC (2015, USA) Review

Hell House LLC (2015)

We are here to discuss a horror movie that uses the formula of found-footage. No matter how many times you review a film that uses this technique you can’t help bring up The Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately there will always be comparisons. Films have tried to replicate this style, but rarely succeeded in finding that magic ingredient The Blair Witch Project possesses. Fortunately Hell House LLC breaks the mold. Going into this movie I’ll be perfectly honest I didn’t expect much. In my defense I have had to suffer numerous found-footage movies over the years that are absolute trollope.

“New York’s scariest haunted house tour.”

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Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990, USA) Review

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Having bought the rights to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre slasher franchise from The Cannon Group, New Line Cinema, “the house that Freddy built”, began production on a new sequel with the intention of “going back to hard-core horror”. Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III attempts to bring back the franchise to its unhinged roots, where the saw is family and dire situations lead to viscera. If only scriptwriter David J. Schow and director Jeff Burr’s vision had remained intact. “Some tales are told, then soon forgotten… but a legend is forever!”

“The saw is family.”

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