I remember Local Boogeyman… One night, he finished dinner, and he excused himself from the table. He went out to the garage, and got himself a hacksaw. Then he went back into the house, kissed his wife and his two children, and proceeded to distress a new batch of Halloween t-shirts!
Say it once… Say it twice… But we dare you to say Local Boogeyman three times! Never trust the living! Buy a Beetlejuice t-shirt that is guaranteed to put some life, in your afterlife!
“Never trust the living!”
Homework. Cheerleading practice. Killing vampires. No one said high school would be easy. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m in a graveyard with Local Boogeyman hunting for vampires on a school night.
“Sometimes it takes more than just good looks to kill.”
The Last House on the Left rests on 13 acres of earth over the very center of hell… Police believe Local Boogeyman may still be in the Los Angeles area, so to avoid fainting, keep repeating: “It’s only a t-shirt, only a t-shirt, only a t-shirt…”
“Mari, 17, is dying. Even for her the worst is yet to come.”
Ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night. It’s hobgoblins and treats galore. Join Local Boogeyman as he awaits the arrival of the legendary Great Pumpkin who is bringing t-shirts for good little boys and girls.
“Don’t tell us you’re too old to believe in Great Pumpkins.”
Enter the haunted house of horror, if you dare, and meet the boogeyman in person! Classic Local Boogeyman tees are back in stock. Join the creep show and buy a t-shirt!
For one night only, the Local Boogeymen Halloween Spooktacular turns me on, yeah! We all go down for the God of the moment, super demon seed running wild! So, let’s just kill everybody!
“The roadshow thrills of White Zombie and Rob Zombie!”
She’s so authoritative. So confident! The more you work with Batgirl, the more amazing she seems. How does she do it? Local Boogeyman disintegrated perfectly, but never reappeared. Where’s he gone? Into space… a stream of atoms… It’d be funny if life weren’t so sacred.
Local Boogeyman positively guarantees The Real Bruce Lee! He also believes in the sacredness of life. He wouldn’t harm anything… not even a fly. But what if it was a fly with the head of a man?! Or the man with the head of The Fly?!
“Terrifying! Nerve Shattering! Bloodcurdling!”
Hell doesn’t want them. Hell doesn’t need them. Hell doesn’t love them. This world rejects them. When Local Boogeyman gets done with them, they’re gonna think King Kong came down from Skull Mountain and raped them a new fucking asshole!
“There is no fuckin’ ice cream in your fuckin’ future.”
★★★ Your Local Boogeyman proudly endorses Godzilla, King of the Monsters for President! ★★★
Support the presidential campaign of this incredible, unstoppable titan of terror with a monstrous t-shirt!
“Civilization crumbles as its death rays blast a city of 6 million from the face of the earth!”
Your Local Boogeyman makes you shiver and shake! Quiver and quake! The night brings terror! Blood chilling fear!