I don’t think it’s nice, you laughin’. You see, Local Boogeyman don’t like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you’re going to, I might convince him that you really didn’t mean it.
HorrorPack is a Blu-ray/DVD horror movie subscription box, curated by a panel of horror movie filmmakers and genre fans. Each month, HorrorPack will ship four mystery Blu-ray or DVD discs to your doorstep; including limited edition discs exclusive to HorrorPack.
“Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…”
Are you ready for more of the worst of the worst? Yes, the process of compiling this subjective list has been self-inflicted, but I needed my own personal purge. So, without further ado, here are the worst horror movies of the decade; from 2015 to 2019.
“Transcend your expectations.”
Directed by the prolific master of the macarbre, Lucio Fulci, The Beyond is the second film in Fulci’s ‘Gates of Hell‘ trilogy; a series of horror films all connected by a unifying theme, and actress Catriona MacColl. In each of these films, one of seven gateways to hell is activated, bringing misery to those unfortunate to stumble upon the doors of death.
“The seven dreaded gateways to hell are concealed in seven cursed places… And from the day the gates of hell are opened, the dead will walk the earth.”
It is safe to say that this is cinematic artistry at its very best. This horror, although silent, screams of an unhinged nightmare full off vivid expressionistic imagery. From the beginning the film’s soundtrack alerts the viewer that something dark and sinister is on the cards. The set is the work of a mastermind and with the scenery being uneven and far from any utopian environment, this is reflected in the twisted music.
“Dr. Caligari and his mysterious slave – the black and white phantom who lives in a cabinet and goes forth in his sleep to do his master’s bidding.”
Prince and his band bring the Grammy Nominated Album Sign ‘☮’ the Times (1987) to life in what is one of the greatest concert films ever made. Although the album of the same name is now broadly recognised as the pinnacle of Prince’s musical achievements, initial sales failed to reach the heights of Purple Rain. The idea of a concert film was soon formed, in order to promote the album to American audiences in theatres.
“If you go to only one concert this year… the Prince movie is the one!”
I have watched a lot of shite during the past decade, and whilst I can appreciate schlock, the following movies really got under my skin. This is my own personal purge; from 2010 to 2014.
“You have a darkness that rivals my own… It will be a very special pleasure to rip you apart.”
Ladies and gentlemen, in this corner we have the classic 1977 David Cronenberg film, Rabid. In the opposite corner, we have the Glenn Danzig opus, Verotika. Is one a better film than the other? Will the cult classic crush the newcomer or will the Master Misfit cut new horror film ground based on his comic book kingdom?
If you’re like me, your interest in anything Danzig related was piqued the moment it was announced he was working on a movie. Unfortunately, the promise faded with ever passing time…
“Pray it doesn’t happen to you.”
In White Zombie, death feels inescapably omnipresent with images of crosses, cemeteries and headstones filling every scene. In one of the most unnerving shots of early horror cinema, we see a pair of pervasive eyes peering across the landscape. What’s so discomforting about the eyes is their vacancy and the troubling inevitability that they are undoubtedly watching us. Recognising these eyes from the film’s iconic poster we are instantly pulled in by the power and symbolism they represent.
“WITH THESE ZOMBIE EYES he rendered her powerless. WITH THIS ZOMBIE GRIP he made her perform his every desire!”
Garageland have released a limited edition Misery print, designed by Jack Gregory, and a 45th anniversary Young Frankenstein print, designed by Alex Zablotsky.
“Paul Sheldon used to write for a living. Now, he’s writing to stay alive.”
A Zombie Christmas Musical… Anna and the Apocalypse has it all, and no doubt that’s why it took 6 years to make after the release of the short film Zombie Musical. Sadly one of the writers (Ryan McHenry) died before this 2017 Scottish film was released and it never received a UK cinema run. So unless you are a fan of the genre who travels to independent festivals you may never have heard of it. But, you should do. The zombies and special effects are great with plenty of gore and some really interesting fight scenes; particularly in the bowling alley which is where my favourite kill takes place.