Author: Chris Barnes

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Zardoz (1974, UK / USA / Ireland) Review

Chris Barnes

Zardoz (1974, UK / USA / Ireland) Review

Director John Boorman’s cerebral and eerily dystopian sci-fi tale Zardoz was released in 1974, not long after Boorman’s iconic Deliverance, and saw the director team up with Sean Connery, three years after his final official appearance as James Bond and light years away from anything either had done before.

In a post-apocalyptic 2293, Zardoz, a colossal stone head, floats over desolate plains, pausing to receive grain from masked horsemen, vomiting weapons as payment from its grimacing mouth.

“Beyond 1984, Beyond 2001, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.”

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The Monster Squad (1987, USA) Review

Chris Barnes

The Monster Squad (1987, USA) Review

I’m well into my 30’s now. That means I was lucky enough to be in my pre-teens when Fred Dekker was still directing films and TV. He may be known by most people as either the director of the entertaining Night of the Creeps or calamitous Robocop 3, but sandwiched in between these two totally dissimilar yarns was 1987’s The Monster Squad.

The titular “Monster Squad” is a small group of horror-loving kids, led by Sean, who run their affairs from a poster-adorned treehouse.

“You know who to call when you have ghosts. But who do you call when you have monsters?”

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Frightmare (1983, USA) Review

Chris Barnes

Frightmare (1983, USA) Review

Conrad Radzoff is a horror icon passed his peak, consigned to resurrecting his celebrated cinematic vampire role for a tasteless advertisement for dentures. After he dies, a group of devotees break into his neon-lit, lavish mausoleum and, in a rather misguided attempt to celebrate the life of their idol, nick his body for a farewell shindig at their place – who wouldn’t?! Unfortunately for them, Radzoff was a dab hand at the ol’ black magic and rises from the dead, seeking payback on those who disturbed him.

“There was Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney, and Conrad Ragzoff! They were all stars who lived and died. But only one returned…”

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An Interview with Actor David Naughton, An American Werewolf in London

Chris Barnes

An Interview with Actor David Naughton, An American Werewolf in London

It’s not every day you get to speak to the lead actor in possibly your favourite horror film of all time. David Naughton should need no introduction to horror fans. Back in 1981, An American Werewolf in London had unprepared cinema goers laughing heartily one second and jumping out of their seats in terror the next.

“It was a very exciting time in my life, 1981. There are fans that really enjoy the movie and appreciate it for what it is, as far as, you know, practical makeup being cutting edge at the time.”

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An Interview with Director Uwe Boll, Postal, BloodRayne

Chris Barnes

An Interview with Director Uwe Boll, House of the Dead, Rampage, Postal

Director Uwe Boll shouldn’t need much of an introduction to film fans. Quite the controversial figure, it seems if he’s not making films that divide opinion, he’s pissing off the people that are.

“Independent movies are dead. What we have left are TV shows, $200mil studio movies and some Oscar contenders. The rest will be $100k movies shot by amateurs and wannabe filmmakers.”

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The Female Cenobite: An Interview with Actress/Author Barbie Wilde (Hellbound: Hellraiser II, The Venus Complex)

Chris Barnes

An Interview with Actress/Author Barbie Wilde, Hellbound: Hellraiser II, The Venus Complex

Depeche Mode, Gary Numan, Morecambe and Wise, Sooty(!), Charles Bronson, Laura Dern, Johnny Rotten, Iggy Pop, Clive Barker… Apart from all being huge stars across various mediums (especially Sooty), they all share one specific thing in common… Barbie Wilde.

“At the Hellbound audition, I met Tony Randel, we had a chat, and the next day, I got the job. It’s funny, because I nearly didn’t go to the audition, as I thought that they were looking for someone to play the Chatterer character and I found that particular Cenobite far too scary in the first film.”

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John Wick (2014, USA) Review

Chris Barnes

John Wick (2014)

I’m not a fan of action films. You know the ones, purely ‘Action’. I hate car chases. DESPISE ‘em! I hate things exploding left, right and centre. I hate overly-long gunfights. They annoy me and make me all fidgety. John Wick is an action/thriller, directed by two stunt men and stars Keanu Reeves. “WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS, YOU FUCKING MASOCHIST?!!” I hear you shout, and you’d be right to ask. I dunno. But I’m SO glad that I did! John Wick is an ex-hitman, grieving for his recently deceased wife. When the son of a mob boss takes a liking to Wick’s car and decides to take it, bad things happen.

“Revenge is all he has left.”

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The Stomach (2014, UK) Review

Chris Barnes

The Stomach (2014)

Coerced by his scheming brother and locked away in a grimy upstairs flat, sickly Frank is the talented, money-making half of a peculiar business endeavour in which paying punters communicate with deceased acquaintances via his distended stomach. With a tube in his mouth and a stethoscope pressed against his grotesque gut (bloated with the manifestations of the dead), good ol’ Frankie acts as a middle-man between this world and the next.

“Your inside his stomach…”

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The Lords of Salem (2012, USA / UK / Canada) Review

Chris Barnes

The Lords of Salem (2012)

Let’s get one thing straight from the start: I love Rob Zombie. From his early days in White Zombie, his carnival-like album covers, concerts and music videos, right up until his 1st feature film in 2003, House Of 1000 Corpses. This was further enhanced by the excellent and gritty The Devil’s Rejects. Then came 2012’s The Lords of Salem a refined, mature mixture of his previous attempts that has not only made me change my opinion on where Zombie was headed, but also on what I now expect from cinema itself every time I sit down to watch a film with a low-to-modest budget.

“Heretic. Witch. Devil.”

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Bad Acid (2015, UK)

Chris Barnes

Bad Acid (2015)

Bad Acid is a lesson for those who crave fame at all costs, however fleeting, and delivers in every area for classic horror fans; leaving us guessing right until its ambiguous end. With only a hint of gore in the form of crime scene photographs, it really is a fine example of how to stimulate the senses through suggestion rather than brute force – a little like hypnotism, albeit, erm, real – and manages to conjure some genuine laughs and hair-raising moments in the process. Fancy a trip? If so, let David Chaudoir’s unconventional horror short, Bad Acid, consume you…

“Famous, I was! Everybody knew my name.”

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