Women of Mafia (Kobiety mafii 2) (2018) | Directed by Patryk Vega
aka Mafia Women 2
Written by Olaf Olszewski, Patryk Vega | Starring Angie Cepeda, Agnieszka Dygant, Aleksandra Grabowska
Fans of writer-director Patryk Vega’s Mafia Women, rejoice! There’s a sequel to the film I called “unbelievably bad” in this very space, and it’s titled, appropriately, Women of Mafia 2 (or Mafia Women 2, depending on your Polish-to-English translation). You’ll be pleased to know that Women of Mafia 2 has quite a lot in common with the first film, including graphic violence, frontal nudity, and a script so nonsensical that the writing must have been outsourced to the proverbial primate with a typewriter, minus the infinite timeline.
Olga Boladz, who played the protagonist from the first film, probably didn’t want to have her name attached to this monstrosity because her character was murdered, off-camera, in the first minute of Women of Mafia 2. Says rather a lot, doesn’t it. Other surviving characters from Mafia Women, however, do continue their stories here, even if they don’t intersect or affect each other. The overarching plot, such as it is, involves a drug deal between Nanny’s drug gang and a Colombian cartel that goes terribly wrong, and the fallout that results from it.
This fallout includes things we’ve come to expect from a Vega film, including forced fellatio, inexplicable car crashes, and unlikable characters who do awful things to each other. Because this is Women of Mafia 2, all the men are, predictably, both evil and stupid. So the liberated Mafia Women must get their revenge on these disgusting chauvinists by shooting them, drilling out their teeth, dismembering them, and poisoning them, among other things. You go, grrls: male feminist Patryk Vega has got your back. But in a sensitive, I’m-your-ally kind of way.
One of the more interesting (read: ludicrous) subplots involves Siekiera, now in the Middle East, finding romance with a nice Arab man who just happens to be an Islamic terrorist. What are the odds? On their wedding day he confesses that he has this—ahem—sideline, and her reaction is to tell him:
“I don’t give a fuck. What matters to me is love. Do you love me?”
Then everyone shoots their AK-47s in the air in celebration. Yay! Later, when her terrorist hubby is predictably killed by the Polish military, she gets revenge by planning a suicide bombing in Warsaw. None of this advances the plot or affects anything else. It’s just there for you to enjoy.
Other dumb subplots emerge: a Romeo and Juliet-style romance between gangsters, complete with Shakespeare quotes so you don’t fail to see that it’s a Romeo and Juliet-style romance between gangsters; organ-stealing by a Tourette’s-afflicted surgeon for fun and profit, but mostly profit; and a tell-all book from the riches-to-rags Anna, who starts the film in a prison where other inmates masturbate with pictures of her 10-year-old son.
Overall, Women of Mafia 2 is a bleak, dreadful effort that only works because everyone in the entire film is a bloodthirsty psychopath one cross word away from committing mass murder.
Yes, it’s schlock, it’s a mindless popcorn flick, it’s whatever euphemism you want to paste onto a piece of cinematic trash to cover up how awful it is. I get that. But some movies are so dumb, so valueless, so lacking in redeeming qualities that they need to be called out for it, no matter their intentions. Women of Mafia 2 is one such movie.
As it turns out, there’s a rumored third film planned in the Women of Mafia/Mafia Women saga. If it becomes a reality, I don’t know if there’s enough paczki and vodka in the world to make me see it. And I do love paczki.