Our Top Robots, Cyborgs & Humanoids

So here is our top Robots, Cyborgs & Humanoids. Everything from killer mall bots to heavy weight tittle toys. So have a look through the list and see if you agree, but remember you won’t finding any superstars here, well maybe the odd one or two. Enjoy, you have 20 seconds to comply.

Ro-Man - Robot Monster (1953)Ro-Man – Robot Monster (1953)

This hulk of a robot stood 7 feet tall in all his gorilla suited goodness with a fish bowl on his head. Armed with a deadly weapon called a Calcinator Ray and with the sole aim to destroy all those on earth, it seems this reject from the dressing up box has a heart and falls for a human called Alice, who is immune to his deadly ray gun. Though love’s sweet story doesn’t end well and Ro-Man’s boss gets the hump and destroys earth anyway.

Venusians Robots – Target Earth (1954)Venusians Robots – Target Earth (1954)

Armed with death rays shooting from his eyes, this monster of walking cardboard and tin-foil is on a mission from Venus to invade earth. Clunking about the deserted streets of Chicago on the hunt for any remaining humans. He has orders to set-up a beachhead, to allow his overlords to take over the earth in the cheese classic B-movie from the 50s.

Robby the Robot - Forbidden Planet (1956)Robby the Robot – Forbidden Planet (1956)

Now this fella is the pinnacle of 50s movie robots, the daddy of all future robots to appear on film and what could be said to be the first celebrity robot.

A trusted man servant to the Prospero character, Dr. Morbius, fluent in 187 languages and was handy around the house with cooking cleaning and any heavy lifting. Always portrayed as a threatening character, he has unable to harm humans and short circuited when ordered to do so.

Box - Logan's RunBox – Logan’s Run (1976)

Here’s a robot for all your food refrigeration and freezing needs. He can freeze anything from penguins to runners and has now hesitation to boast about it,  he is “more than machine, or man More than a fusion of the two. Don’t you agree?” Though not one to shirk his responsibilities he’ll keep freezing things as long as there is something to freeze that being food or humans.

VIN cent and BOB – The Black Hole (1979)VIN cent and BOB – The Black Hole (1979)

These two floating robots V.I.N & B.O.B are possible the most annoying buckets of bolts to ever cross the galaxy. With stuck-on cartoon eyes and a habit of spouting stupid phrases. This pair tried to re-captcher the comedy timings of the classic straight-man / comedy foil routine that had been used since year dot. Though one saving grace is that B.O.B was voiced by the great Slim Pickens.

Sico the Robot – Rocky IV (1985)Sico the Robot – Rocky IV (1985)

The gift for the man that has everything or just has too much cash. Sico the life-sized robot ideal for cake presentations and for reminding you to pack your toothbrush. Comes in male and female versions and is more than adequate of looking after a young child while the parents are on the other side of the world, just don’t tell social services. Can also act like a nagging wife, so best to “have here wires tied”.

Killbots– Chopping Mall (1986)Killbots– Chopping Mall (1986)

“When shopping can cost you more than an arm and a leg” it’s best to have top notch mall cop security. The Protector  101 Killbot, a cross between Johnny 5 and the “Mash get Smash” Robots, are all you need to keep your shopping mall clear of pick-pockets and shop-lifters. However, these guards of the shopping experience don’t work too well with lightning strikes and have a habit of blowing up the heads of sex crazed teenagers. “Thank you, have a nice day.”

Cherry 2000 – Cherry 2000 (1987)Cherry 2000 – Cherry 2000 (1987)

“She’s Blond. Beautiful and Forever Young” The all purpose love machine for the lone man in a post-apocalyptic  world. Though very rear and irreplaceable to any owner who is lucky enough to have one, they do have some odd fashion tastes, yellow rubber gloves anyone, and don’t do too well with soapy water.

ED 209 – Robocop (1987)ED 209 – Robocop (1987)

OCP’s front runner for the protection of Detroit’s street. With a no nonsense approach to law and order, this mean machine is everything you want in urban pacification. Armed with 2 heavy duty machine guns and missile launchers. However, this beast of a machine does have its problems. These being, not a stickler for the rules and will shoot anybody it thinks as not complied with its orders, but this is only “a temporary setback”. Also, like all conquering Darleks it’s not too good with stairs.

Johnny Cab – Total Recall (1990)Johnny Cab – Total Recall (1990)

The ideal replacement for today’s “You’ll never guess who I had in the back of my cab” cabbie driver. Never one to give it’s own opinion on what it read that day in the daily rag or ask you what you think of Wenger’s substation of Oxley-Chamberlain against Man U. This cab about town is straight talking and is not a fan of fair dodgers. Though Johnny cab does give of a very scary clown type vibe and has a tendency to blow-up if not paid. Best to go by foot.

Adam Akers